For myself, I can be in "right relationship" with manifestation when it does not involve money, and as soon as it does, which is usually quite quickly (!), I flip upside down and begin to take control of the process, figuring out how to get/create/manifest the money so that I can do what I want to do. This flip happens so quickly that I have not even perceived it, so easily do I move into thinking I need to have control, power and dominion over the process of creation and generation.
Of course, in doing so, I only limit its possibilities and thwart its flow of magic and potential. In actuality, it is quite arrogant and egocentric of me to think that I know better or more than Spirit does. This divine energy is all about Life creating Life, and here I am diverting the flow into my little "this is how it should be done" belief system and this is what comes first. More fool me.
I stepped out of the circle of creation and tried desperately to make it a straight and logical line.
Again, more fool me. Anyone who has been pregnant, and I have been four times, knows that it takes the masculine and the feminine to create new life, and that the process, even the birth, is anything but straight, logical and predictable!
As I approached the Saints Way out of the Eden Project, I desperately (and I use that word deliberately) wanted to go to the left, and up and over to the hill to the right and back to Great Prideaux Farm where the paths intersect. I kept trying, only to be met by big lorries (trucks) and heavy traffic. Pause. Recalibrate. And go down the road to the right.
It was a quiet and dark road, dense with old beech trees and undergrowth. I quieted down for the first time that morning, feeling myself out of St. Austell and back into the countryside for the first time that day. I sang my "I am walking the path of the Mary's" chant, and had a bounce back in my step. I anticipated connecting with the path where Karen and I had walked together, and even more, I was looking forward to understanding where and how we got lost and off the path.
In joy, I reconnected with the Saints Path, celebrating with pictures as I saw the familiar signposts for the first time! I walked back up the hill to the field where the cows had surrounded us in curiosity, and to the very spot at the top of the hill where we had reconnected with the Saints Path ourselves. From here, I crossed over the stile and walked through a field and down through some gorgeous woods with ancient grandmother trees. (We had missed this section entirely before!) I came out at Trevanney Farm and knew exactly what had happened. We had been so, so close to the path, yet coming from the other direction, there was no way to see the stile into the woods. Moreover, as I trudged further through the fields of this farm, I found a Saints Way signpost, lying down on its side on a farm cart. Perhaps the farmer had no malicious intent to confuse the pilgrim, but he also had no desire to serve and assist. A simple signpost would have so easily guided the pilgrim on the path.
The mirror lies in when we solely rely on external signposts to show us the way, we lose our way. Whether we rely on any external situations, people or circumstances to confirm or deny our own experiences, we become dependent on them to confirm or defend our choices, decisions, positions, and then end up giving over our power to others. They then have to power to not only affirm, but to also confuse, or divert us from the true path. We then become lost, confused, unsure, and no longer know how to get from where we are to where we want to be. We have disconnected from ourselves, our dreams, desires, longings, goals and destinations, even our divinity and capacity as master creators, and come to rely on others for our choices, directions, confirmation that what we are doing is right and successful, and ultimately, for our right to be here and exist.
What will it take for us to bring back these external signposts - money, fame, success, being loved and accepted, the right to exist, love and choose - into our being? What will it take for us to reconnect with our core selves, our soul and spirit, and to trust and follow our own internal compass? It is as though we have handed over our personal divining rod to someone else, or something else, outside of ourselves, to tell us what to do, how to do it, if we are doing it good enough, right enough, and then forgotten that we even gave them the divining rod, much less that we had our own divining rod in the first place!
This is the gift of walking a sacred path. We get to practice through the experience of walking, the art of following a path that has a special energy to it. We get to learn when we are on it, when we are not, where we made a choice or decision to get on or off, and what it feels like when we are on the path. Even more, we get to experience when the path is actually on the energy line and when it too may have gotten diverted, and is just following a line to get from point A to point B. We also get to open to the different ways a path communicates with us - through feeling, obstacles or clear openings, or perhaps people along the way who suggest or outright tell you to go this way or that way, or ask you a question about your journey.
As one of many examples, I stopped at a fruit and vegetable stand on a short stretch of an A road outside of Perranwell that was located just a few feet from a bridlepath I was told to walk up. The woman at the stand asked me where I was going, and when I told her that was going up the bridlepath to St.Pirans Well, she told me NO, that I did not want to go up this path as it was very steep and slippery. She lived at the farm at the top of the hill, and she found the slope even too steep with her horse, and that with my heavy pack, she strongly suggested that I go down the A road a little further before turning up a little side road. My will wanted to follow the directions in the guidebook - "this is the path", I told myself. Yet I also knew that I had stopped at the stand for a reason, and even though I bought some plums, (that I never ate because they never ripened) I thought it best to listen and heed the advice of a local person. I walked up the little road, ended up at the church where a handyman was working and who directed me to St. Pirran's Well where I had a sweet and simple magical experience with Mary!
Do I listen to the Path and actually allow it to "guide, provide and protect me every step of the way", or do I impose my will and what I think it should be, and where I should walk, and tell it how it should be?
When we receive these gifts and lessons into our daily lives, we can live each day, each moment as a pilgrimage.We can live and walk with awareness that every choice we make has a consequence, and either it will take us along a guided path aligned and connected with the Divine and Sacred, and be informed with joy, ease and glory, or it will take us down a path of suffering, hardship, working hard, and thinking that we know best, and that this is how it is. This will be a "fine" life and we will convince ourselves that this is as good as it gets,so be grateful and get on with it. But what if this is just but a taste, or a tease, of how magnificent it can truly be? What if it is truly possible to live in Heaven on Earth?
I walked through Trevanney Farm, across the fields with the cows who looked at me with recognition and amusement, into Luxulyan. I cleared off one of the signposts that had been grown over with ivy, even getting stung by stinging nettle in the process. The signposts are there to guide us, to give us direction, and confirmation that we are headed in the right direction. Yet, ultimately, they are only there to guide us. We both get to, and have to choose, to walk the path in the first place, to follow the path, to stay on the path, and where and when our path diverges from it.
I knew as I walked down the hill into the woods, to the familiar stile that I was crossing for the third time and the familiar puddle with the vertical log lying through it, that I had righted the path for myself and come back into right relationship with myself, my dreams and desires, and the natural and divine process to manifest, create and receive them. I was now, and am, right side up, with my roots in the ground, and my heart and arms open to the sky, connected to all that is right and good in the world, and walking the way of Love, Light and Life.
I am home.