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Day 100 - Gifts from this Incredible Journey

4/23/2014

Today is Day 100 of my 100 Day Commitment. I committed to exercising every day for 100 days. I had to do something for myself and my body that would tone or strengthen it. Walking didn't count in this personal challenge because I will always walk, and it's not my edge. It's my home. Exercising - toning, stretching, strengthening - was my edge.

TODAY I CELEBRATE! I have honored my 100 Day Commitment EVERY SINGLE DAY of the 100 days and have exercised and done something to move, love, enjoy, feel my body!

I am amazed, quite honestly! When I first saw this challenge on Facebook, as much as I intuitively knew that I had to do it, I also wondered how I would ever make the time, remember, get over my resistance. I was like, "Yeah. Right." So I took it one day at a time, with the 100 days as my goal or vision in site all the time.

Honestly, it was like the whole Universe conspired for me to do this and take this on! I could feel the groundswell of support as I stepped into the powerful Commitment to Self.

On Day 1, I went to a Fitness for Life class, and I have gone back nearly every Monday, Wednesday and Friday since. Why? Because the teacher of this class, Jennifer, has been one of my angels since that very first day. She welcomed me in, asked what she needed to know about me in terms of exercising, and has just so supported me every step of the way! It felt like she just invited me in more deeply to myself, and gave my resistance nothing to fight with!

I have gone to this Fitness for Life class, but another similar one at a different time. I have gone to a NIA class, an Ayre dance class, I have used the "Fitness over 50" dvd's. I have gone to Pilates with Helen. I have sprinkled in with stretching, a Fit Ball, a little yoga. Every day for 100 days I have moved, loved, stretched, toned and strengthened my body.

Years ago, I created with my dear friend Sue the acronym of HFTTFS.
HEALTHY ~ FIT ~ TRIM ~ TONED ~ FLEXIBLE ~ STRONG.

I am now living into and from that vision of my body being HFTTFS! WooHoo!

What are the gifts from my taking on the 100 Commitment?

confidence - I now know that I can exercise, that I can commit to something seemingly impossible and do it! I can no longer use my body, or being weak as an excuse. I get to, have to show up now differently than I ever have
- strength - you can feel the toned and strengthened muscles in my legs and arms
  no excuses - it's all about commitment, clarity, focus, and honoring your intuition. I can do many exercises now that at the beginning, Jennifer wouldn't even have me do! I can feel the muscles in more trunk now...they're engaged, they're firing, they're working!
  - intuition - when you are directed or impulsed by Spirit through your intuition, listen to it, honor it, do it! The picture is always so much bigger than you think it is, and so the magic, and the miracles are more than you ever imagined also!
    - weaving of the split - the 24 year old physical split in my abdominal recti muscles is healing and being healed. It is now healed up almost to belly button, and coming down from my sternum.
      
      Healing the physical split is mirroring the healing of the energetic split within that has been there since I was a young girl, perhaps I even came in with it. This dyanamic of a split is a big part of my soul's purpose - I came to heal the split I have experienced on every level of my being - spirit/matter; mind/body; England/America; creative/intellect; masculine/feminine; internal/external; home centered/out in the world; inner/outer...I could go on and on.
      
      This 100 Day Commitment has been a unifier for me and has served to bring together and integrate the polarities within me. While supporting the healing of the split, it has simultaneously been bringing together these aspects of myself that have been at war with each other. Somehow, they are now working in concert together and recognizing the mutuality of their co-existence.
      
      WHOLENESS
    - connection to my core - I know that I am just getting started on truly touching my core. It's as though it's taken me 100 days to come into the core of things!! And if you'd ever told me it would take this long, and that I am really only just getting started, I'm not sure I would have ever started (which brings us back to the wisdom of Spirit and guiding us through our intuition!) This 100 day practice has been a foundation creator and builder.
    - foundation - I now have the strength and the foundation to go into my core and to do the core work! ha!
    - Self - a recognition that I actually have a Self, and that with this, comes an acceptance of certain degree of "selfishness" or self-centeredness. WOW! One of my shadows has been "Selfish" and so I have worked endlessly to NOT be selfish or self-centered in any way. Hence, no core, no center. I have come into an acceptance of Self and this demands a certain level of selfish, self-centeredness. Many times I had to remove myself from the family and inconvenience them, and myself, to exercise that day. And you know, it was okay. There was nothing wrong, no harm done, by my taking care of myself. Fancy that?!
    - container - I can physically, and emotionally - feel that my body can now serve me and our path together because it can now provide a container for our work together. We are working together now! Before my body always felt like a sieve that energy leaked through, so I'd always be trying to do what I needed to do behind my body's back almost. I didn't know how to work in partnership with my body.
    - partnership - working together with my body on this journey we're on. Loving and appreciating its strength, its form, its perfection, and its wisdom.
    - self-love, self-appreciation and self-acceptance - I am developing and deepening a love for myself and my body. I actually am coming into a deep acceptance of myself, my Self, my gifts, my purpose, and my mission. Funny right?! Never would have expected that this 100 Day Commitment would give me these gifts! What a blessing!
    - anchoring - I am coming in and home to myself, my core, my Self in a quiet, powerful, undramatic way. It's like I'm experiencing my self in a new way. It just is. I just am. As I type this, big deep relaxing breath. I am.
    - creativity and manifestation - I am becoming a powerful and potent creative manifestor, and I am able to ride the waves of manifestation in a new, embodied, present way. I am recognizing and accepting myself as a profoundly creative person for the first time. I am accepting who I am as a magnificent manifestor too!
    - EMBODIMENT - Wow! I am embodying EMBODIMENT! My theme for 2014 - Embodiment! I truly believe that it was my taking on and accepting this theme for this year that actually aligned me with the 100 Commitment. It was the original spark. And here we are, I am, 100 days later, and I am more in my body, in my being, on my path, than I have ever been. I am so profoundly humbled and grateful.
    I am so moved and grateful to have been impulsed by Spirit to gift my Self with this 100 Commitment. The gifts will continue to reveal themselves, as I know I only scratched the surface writing here today. The picture is so much bigger than I ever could have imagined. At times I have glimpsed into that picture, and it is so beautiful and divine that I, for a very brief moment, have stood in awe and gratitude for my getting to be a part of this picture. That Spirit, God, the Universe, cared enough about me to inspire me to take on the 100 Commitment. As I fully receive this, I breathe deep, fill myself with the love, and relax into that I matter. I matter. My body matters. It matters that I have love and honor my body, and my Self on a daily basis. The truth is we all matter, every single one of us. How blessed am I. How blessed are we.

We all matter. Each and every one of us!

So, today I celebrate! I celebrate completing this 100 Day journey that has given me so much more than I ever could have imagined. I celebrate with dear sister friends by walking the Mesa Trail on a lovely spring afternoon...getting to walk, be outside, with friends, loving, laughing and celebrating the beautiful gifts of being alive in an amazingly wonderful human body that is also HFTTFS!!

Solvitur Ambulando!

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A Fire Ceremony to Reconnect with My Self, My Ancestors and my Soul's Purpose

4/20/2014

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The night of the Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse, I attended my first Fire Ceremony. Facilitated by Christina, it was held in the paddock of Randi's home out toward Louisville, in a beautiful fire pit dowsed by Karen for its perfect and most potent location. Beautiful rocks created a circle at the edge of the deep pit, and when I arrived the pit had been laid with many logs, branches and twigs.

As I drove out to the location, I realized that I was going to the home of a woman that I knew from Own It, Sister! I was so excited to see her again, and as I walked over the circle, Randi recognized me too, and to everyone's delight, we reunited in a big hug! I share this because this re-connection opened up the gate of reunion for me in a much bigger way. Also, we had many ages present at this gathering, from 8 year olds, teenagers and up. Loved that kids were both included and fully participating. Next time, I am going to invited Gracie to join me.

Led by Christina, we were asked to envision our future, claim and create our present, & let go by saying good bye and thank you to our past. The fire grew bigger and bigger and stronger and stronger as the fire tenders, Karen and two of the children, poured the logs and branches into it. I only just now connected to the logs I brought were from my willow trees...thank you dear Willows for feeding this beautiful raging, roaring fire.

Stacy sang songs from her Native ancestors. Her authentic voice sang out into the darkening evening. Her power, beauty and strength showed up more and more with each word she sang. I could feel her ancientness, her connection to the land and the people of this continent who were so deeply rooted and connected to the land. She called in all of our ancestors as she led us all in these traditional songs.

We each we asked to remember and share our intentions for this fire ceremony and our vision for our future. My full intention to live into my dream and desire to live in England and live a life of freedom and contribution, doing what I love, how I best serve, and what I came here to do, and who I came here to be, always aligned with my soul's path.

I shared this vision of my future, and leading pilgrimages, especially this Cornwall pilgrimage coming up. I felt vulnerable and alive in the sharing of it. The fire burned. We sang. We chanted. We moved our bodies. We breathed. We breathed. We breathed. We breathed deeply into bellies, receiving the energies from the fire. Then we released into the sky. Then we breathed the cool air from the sky and breathed into the fire, giving her the energy from our breath. Over and over again. Powerful, cleansing, energizing, receiving, giving. Turning over our past, our stories, our limitations to the Fire and asking her to use them as fuel for her flames.

With a friend at our back, we knelt before the fire to offer a stick from our past and a stick to receive a gift or guidance from our our future. Simple, yet so profound to know that someone was holding you from behind as you squatted down right next to the fire to bare your soul to her, to give and to receive. I knew that I was giving up my stories of being "too much" or paradoxically "not enough", or "I can't", "I won't" and "I don't know how". Giving up that I am not worthy of my path, my purpose, my mission and my being here, right now, right here on this planet. After this night, that I was no longer able to fall back on this story of insufficiency as my excuse for not living fully into my power, my purpose, and my prosperity. As I threw this stick into the fire, I gave up my attachment to my past as my excuse for my future, and came fully into the present.

I must continue to take one step into my future every moment, while firmly rooted in the present and who I truly am and into the vision for who I becoming.

I was just reminded of this: I must be wiling to let go of who I am to become who I may be.

As I stood up from my time at the fire, I turned around to see Randi right behind me. She had come around the circle to stand at my back. I was moved beyond words, and felt the divine love of her action. I actually wrote her an email just now to thank her for her loving actions. So grateful.

The gifts continued to flow to me...Christina said something again our ancestors. I realized, and felt, and knew that my ancestors were there, and were part of this fire ceremony. That through the universal energy of fire, they came through to join me in this ceremony, to awaken me more deeply to my own indigenous roots in Cornwall. To hold me as I journey home. That I have my own connections to a land that runs as deep and with as much respect and love that the Native Americans have the land over here in America. That is why I am leading this pilgrimage in Cornwall in June....to connect with the Land, and her stones, plants, seas, sky - Her landscape - in the most deep and loving of ways, that I will remember fully who I am, where I belong, and who my people are. They are calling me home.

Last summer walking solo in Cornwall was my first experience to embody this remembrance. Every step was magical and mystical, even in its most ordinary of moments. At Restormel, I sent my tap root deep into the Earth, and reconnected my Self to the land of my people. Now, I am growing off shoots from this tap root, like a tree whose roots mirror its reaching branches. My roots are growing and spreading deep into the Earth, as they reach for Her core.

At the same time as I am to root and connect deeply here, I am also to serve as a bridge. I did not grow up in America by accident. I know that all is perfect and nothing is wrong. The Atlantic Ocean has been a chasm between my two worlds, and reflects the depth, width and breadth of the split I have experienced in myself between my different worlds and all its different refractions: American and English, physical and spiritual; intellectual and creative/artistic; masculine and feminine; spiritual and sexual; in my body/out of body; grounded/hovering; connected/disconnected; right/wrong...I could go on and on. Now, is the time to let go of the polarities of being either - or and bring them into the both - and. To bridge the two worlds together into one cohesive whole. I keep having this recurring image of an Atlantic Ocean that is like a small creek that I can jump over with one hop! That the chasm is no longer a chasm, but a mere trickle of water that serves as the line between light and dark like on the Yin Yang...

Yes, there is a point at which black becomes white, and one is not the other, but each exists in relationship to the other, and within each there is the other.

This is my relationship between the worlds. And I am being called on to create the whole circle and sphere on both worlds bridged together, bringing my worlds together, and seemlessly going back and forth between the two, loving and honoring both worlds. And as I just got as I was typing this, the only way to do this is to go underground to the roots of both cultures, and to reconnect with the Earth/Gaia energy of both places - to go back and connect with the unifying energy of Mother Earth. I have to go under the Western, white, Christian culture of disconnect and dominance to the Celtic, pre-Celtic times when my ancestors lived in loving and respectful co-creative connection with the Land when they honored Her, loved Her, thanked Her for her gifts and bounty, for providing them with home and food. They celebrated the Mother in every way, knowing that it was She who gave birth to them, gave them home, safety and sustenance, and provided them with all their needs. It was such a deep respect, love and honour that it never occurred that it could be any other way. Their gratitude and celebration was as essential as the air they breathed.

Through our roots we will reconnect, and heal the separation. Through our roots we will return to our love of the Mother, the Earth, our home. Through our roots we will heal our wounds and come home to ourselves. Through our roots, we will remember who we truly are. Through our roots, we will grow strong and we reach toward the sun and the sky and the stars and remember our celestial spark of being. 'Tis the paradox once again...that only through reconnecting through our roots to Earth and the Mother Goddess, embracing our physicality and our humanness can we reach for the stars and remember who we are beings who came here from the stars. Like a tree, we must be rooted in the Earth with strong and deep roots so that we can stretch toward the sun with big and wide branches that can receive the holy light.

Not only do we heal the vertical split between the upper and lower worlds, we also heal the horizontal split between the worlds of different countries, nationalities and continents. Under the surface of the Earth, it is all one Earth. Only man has made the divisions and the separations. Now it is time to pledge allegiance to One Earth and to LIFE...

This is my pledge and my commitment...this is my future. This is who I am. I am stepping into something much bigger than I had ever imagined. By honoring my sacred and courageous desires, I am aligned with my soul's purpose to contribute to the betterment of the world. Actually, to be more real, I am committed to and contributing to a world evolving into Heaven and Earth, together, unified as one. I am reminded of a quote of my one of my favorite authors, Alberto Villoldo:

…when we dream with the courage of our soul…mostly we’re concerned with our soul’s longing to make the most of our gifts and talents and participate in creating a better world. We dream the world we’d actually like to be living in…And while the dreams of the soul serve our own needs as individuals, they also serve those of the world. They are sacred dreams – fresh, creative, and able to infuse us with passion and courage to act.”
Alberto Villoldo, Courageous Dreaming: How Shamans Dream the World into Being

May we all be blessed with the desire and courage to remember our sacred dreams, and to walk the path of our soul's purpose. Here's to your own fire ceremony within where you can envision your future, claim and create your present, & let go by saying good bye and thank you to your past.

Blessings be.

Solvitur Ambulando!

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Sarah

I love to walk. I love to write.

I am a pilgrim.
I am a Womb Shaman.
I am the Feminine Christ Awakened.
I am becoming the Feminine Christ Embodied.

I walk the sacred spirals of the ancient pilgrimage paths and sacred sites along the "dragon" ley lines of the Earth. I walk local paths. I walk to be in Nature. I walk labyrinths and spirals. I walk to move and celebrate my body. I walk to come home to the truth of who I truly am, to connect with the Earth and Spirit, and to live my life aligned with my soul's path. My intention is to walk In Love, As Love, For Love.

I have led Spiral Path Pilgrimage Walks & Retreats in Cornwall in the very southwest of England.

Mostly, I have been walking the sacred paths of the Womb Spiral - internally and in Penwith, Cornwall. These sacred journeys continue to take me more and more deeply in to the core essence of who I am - as a women and as the embodiment of the Divine Feminine. As I root more deeply into my essence, I have experienced a strength and presence within myself that cultivates a clarity and ferocity that demands a willingness to stand in truth and love. This in and of itself has created a tsunami of change in my life that

Sarah at Chalice Well, Glastonbury, England, September 2014.

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