As I drove out to the location, I realized that I was going to the home of a woman that I knew from Own It, Sister! I was so excited to see her again, and as I walked over the circle, Randi recognized me too, and to everyone's delight, we reunited in a big hug! I share this because this re-connection opened up the gate of reunion for me in a much bigger way. Also, we had many ages present at this gathering, from 8 year olds, teenagers and up. Loved that kids were both included and fully participating. Next time, I am going to invited Gracie to join me.
Led by Christina, we were asked to envision our future, claim and create our present, & let go by saying good bye and thank you to our past. The fire grew bigger and bigger and stronger and stronger as the fire tenders, Karen and two of the children, poured the logs and branches into it. I only just now connected to the logs I brought were from my willow trees...thank you dear Willows for feeding this beautiful raging, roaring fire.
Stacy sang songs from her Native ancestors. Her authentic voice sang out into the darkening evening. Her power, beauty and strength showed up more and more with each word she sang. I could feel her ancientness, her connection to the land and the people of this continent who were so deeply rooted and connected to the land. She called in all of our ancestors as she led us all in these traditional songs.
We each we asked to remember and share our intentions for this fire ceremony and our vision for our future. My full intention to live into my dream and desire to live in England and live a life of freedom and contribution, doing what I love, how I best serve, and what I came here to do, and who I came here to be, always aligned with my soul's path.
I shared this vision of my future, and leading pilgrimages, especially this Cornwall pilgrimage coming up. I felt vulnerable and alive in the sharing of it. The fire burned. We sang. We chanted. We moved our bodies. We breathed. We breathed. We breathed. We breathed deeply into bellies, receiving the energies from the fire. Then we released into the sky. Then we breathed the cool air from the sky and breathed into the fire, giving her the energy from our breath. Over and over again. Powerful, cleansing, energizing, receiving, giving. Turning over our past, our stories, our limitations to the Fire and asking her to use them as fuel for her flames.
With a friend at our back, we knelt before the fire to offer a stick from our past and a stick to receive a gift or guidance from our our future. Simple, yet so profound to know that someone was holding you from behind as you squatted down right next to the fire to bare your soul to her, to give and to receive. I knew that I was giving up my stories of being "too much" or paradoxically "not enough", or "I can't", "I won't" and "I don't know how". Giving up that I am not worthy of my path, my purpose, my mission and my being here, right now, right here on this planet. After this night, that I was no longer able to fall back on this story of insufficiency as my excuse for not living fully into my power, my purpose, and my prosperity. As I threw this stick into the fire, I gave up my attachment to my past as my excuse for my future, and came fully into the present.
I must continue to take one step into my future every moment, while firmly rooted in the present and who I truly am and into the vision for who I becoming.
I was just reminded of this: I must be wiling to let go of who I am to become who I may be.
As I stood up from my time at the fire, I turned around to see Randi right behind me. She had come around the circle to stand at my back. I was moved beyond words, and felt the divine love of her action. I actually wrote her an email just now to thank her for her loving actions. So grateful.
The gifts continued to flow to me...Christina said something again our ancestors. I realized, and felt, and knew that my ancestors were there, and were part of this fire ceremony. That through the universal energy of fire, they came through to join me in this ceremony, to awaken me more deeply to my own indigenous roots in Cornwall. To hold me as I journey home. That I have my own connections to a land that runs as deep and with as much respect and love that the Native Americans have the land over here in America. That is why I am leading this pilgrimage in Cornwall in June....to connect with the Land, and her stones, plants, seas, sky - Her landscape - in the most deep and loving of ways, that I will remember fully who I am, where I belong, and who my people are. They are calling me home.
Last summer walking solo in Cornwall was my first experience to embody this remembrance. Every step was magical and mystical, even in its most ordinary of moments. At Restormel, I sent my tap root deep into the Earth, and reconnected my Self to the land of my people. Now, I am growing off shoots from this tap root, like a tree whose roots mirror its reaching branches. My roots are growing and spreading deep into the Earth, as they reach for Her core.
At the same time as I am to root and connect deeply here, I am also to serve as a bridge. I did not grow up in America by accident. I know that all is perfect and nothing is wrong. The Atlantic Ocean has been a chasm between my two worlds, and reflects the depth, width and breadth of the split I have experienced in myself between my different worlds and all its different refractions: American and English, physical and spiritual; intellectual and creative/artistic; masculine and feminine; spiritual and sexual; in my body/out of body; grounded/hovering; connected/disconnected; right/wrong...I could go on and on. Now, is the time to let go of the polarities of being either - or and bring them into the both - and. To bridge the two worlds together into one cohesive whole. I keep having this recurring image of an Atlantic Ocean that is like a small creek that I can jump over with one hop! That the chasm is no longer a chasm, but a mere trickle of water that serves as the line between light and dark like on the Yin Yang...
This is my relationship between the worlds. And I am being called on to create the whole circle and sphere on both worlds bridged together, bringing my worlds together, and seemlessly going back and forth between the two, loving and honoring both worlds. And as I just got as I was typing this, the only way to do this is to go underground to the roots of both cultures, and to reconnect with the Earth/Gaia energy of both places - to go back and connect with the unifying energy of Mother Earth. I have to go under the Western, white, Christian culture of disconnect and dominance to the Celtic, pre-Celtic times when my ancestors lived in loving and respectful co-creative connection with the Land when they honored Her, loved Her, thanked Her for her gifts and bounty, for providing them with home and food. They celebrated the Mother in every way, knowing that it was She who gave birth to them, gave them home, safety and sustenance, and provided them with all their needs. It was such a deep respect, love and honour that it never occurred that it could be any other way. Their gratitude and celebration was as essential as the air they breathed.
Through our roots we will reconnect, and heal the separation. Through our roots we will return to our love of the Mother, the Earth, our home. Through our roots we will heal our wounds and come home to ourselves. Through our roots, we will remember who we truly are. Through our roots, we will grow strong and we reach toward the sun and the sky and the stars and remember our celestial spark of being. 'Tis the paradox once again...that only through reconnecting through our roots to Earth and the Mother Goddess, embracing our physicality and our humanness can we reach for the stars and remember who we are beings who came here from the stars. Like a tree, we must be rooted in the Earth with strong and deep roots so that we can stretch toward the sun with big and wide branches that can receive the holy light.
Not only do we heal the vertical split between the upper and lower worlds, we also heal the horizontal split between the worlds of different countries, nationalities and continents. Under the surface of the Earth, it is all one Earth. Only man has made the divisions and the separations. Now it is time to pledge allegiance to One Earth and to LIFE...
…when we dream with the courage of our soul…mostly we’re concerned with our soul’s longing to make the most of our gifts and talents and participate in creating a better world. We dream the world we’d actually like to be living in…And while the dreams of the soul serve our own needs as individuals, they also serve those of the world. They are sacred dreams – fresh, creative, and able to infuse us with passion and courage to act.”
Alberto Villoldo, Courageous Dreaming: How Shamans Dream the World into Being
May we all be blessed with the desire and courage to remember our sacred dreams, and to walk the path of our soul's purpose. Here's to your own fire ceremony within where you can envision your future, claim and create your present, & let go by saying good bye and thank you to your past.