I have often reflected on a late, rainy night just about 4 years ago when I arrived in Orleans, France, with my 15 year old daughter. We trudged through the rain from the train station to our hotel, tired and ready for a dry and comfortable bed. When we pressed the bell for our hotel, no body answered. Again and again, we tried but no luck. Not sure what to do, we sat down on our packs to collect our thoughts and create a plan of action. As we did, someone called down to us through the intercom, wondering who we were. It turned out that our reservation was mixed up. They thought we were coming on 6 july - 6/7 European style, not 7 June, 7/6. Aware of the European dating system, I had already switched the numbers to reflect 7 June, from 6/7 (American style) to 7/6 (European style) only to have them switch it back!
In those minutes of sitting in the doorway out of the rain wondering what to do on this late and rainy night, I knew that my daughter and I would be fine, no matter what, even if we ended up back at the train station on a bench. I was in charge, I would take care of my daughter, and make sure that we were both safe and dry.
Just as I was getting ready to find other nearby hotels, the hotel concierge/owner called back down and said that they did have a room for us and to come upstairs. The buzzer went off and we, very gratefully, went upstairs to orange fuzzy chairs in the hallway, and a comfortable room at the end of the hall. To top it off, the next morning we had a delicious French breakfast of croissants and tea, with Nutella served from a giant jar of Nutella. You know the typical jar of Nutella that fits into your hand? Blow that up times fifty - same Nutella shape, label and lid, just fifty times larger. Alea was in heaven! I would have a picture for you but our camera was stolen on our last day in London, several weeks later, with all of our pictures on the 8mg card. That's a blog for another time!
Anyway, the relevance of this story to the essence of today's blog is that when we were faced with no hotel late at night, the "mama bear" in me dug deep in and knew that I would protect and care for my child and that we were going to be okay, no matter what. I felt like I put a stake in the ground, and that with confidence and clarity, I was creating Plan B for finding a place to stay in a place that I didn't know. The mother in me will always take care of and protect and provide for my children, no matter what. Period.
When that one other person I am with happens to be my child, wherever we are, whatever we are doing, I know that I will take care of my child.
I was reminding my daughter of this story this morning, and as I did, I realized that this is who I have to be for myself and how I get to - have to - show up for myself.
I have to show up for my self - my child within, the little girl within me who gets really scared to stand up for herself, to be by herself, to walk by herself, to take a stand for herself - like a mother would her child ~ like I do for my children.
It's that simple. I get to and have to love my self, my little girl, as unconditionally and deeply as I love my children, for whom I would do anything to protect and provide and love. It's that simple.
I have written extensively on my Blogger website about my "pilgrimage of initiation" which I call the CELTIC CAMINO. Please access these blogs at www.walkyourpath-pilgrimage.blogspot.com. Here, today as I write this blog, I name the core of my journey of initiation of the first chakra, and open to profound and complete healing on a core, cellular, molecular, and energetic level of my being. This is the split I am walking to heal - the split from my little girl who got left in England many years ago. I walk to reconnect with her, to find her, to fully accept and love her. As I love, accept, care for and provide for my little girl, I will have completed the initiation of the root chakra and will be able to continue on the Celtic Camino and walk into Toulouse with my core and belly intact and connected. I will have rooted to my root, my taproot, and have returned home to my core, my center, and my self.